An Undomestic’s Guide to Nesting

Posted on Oct 27, 2011 in Uncategorized

Early on in my pregnancy, a woman styling my hair told me I would become so obsessed with preparing a clean home for my baby that I would be on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush and then pulling  out the ladder to dust the chandeliers.  I politely disagreed, and not just because my home doesn’t have any chandeliers.

“You don’t know me.  I’m not the most domestic of women.  I find it hard to believe that I will ever feel the need to clean that badly.”

The hair stylist insisted.

“Just you wait.  It’s called “Nesting”.  It happens to all pregnant women.”

So I waited.  And waited.  I’m 37 weeks along today, and am still waiting for that whole nesting instinct to kick in.

Not going to happen.

Obviously I want to bring my baby home to a nice, clean living space.  But my idea of nesting is picking up the phone and dialing a cleaning service.  I find that to be much more efficient, and allows me to keep my hands free to for more important pregnancy activities, like eating.

I will admit that I did sort through piles and piles of papers and magazines in an effort to de-clutter the living space.  But that was mainly because my husband probably would have left me if I hadn’t.  And there are still plenty of piles left that I need to tackle.  (I hit a wall pretty early on in that process.  That tends to happen when I attempt to tidy up.)

Perhaps in my last few weeks of pregnancy that urge to organize closets and scour all my surfaces will strengthen, but I’m not holding my breath.   In the meantime, for anyone else lacking a nesting instinct like myself, here is what I recommend:

1) Buy Groupons for cleaning services whenever they are offered – which is all the time.  So worth it.

2) If you’re not into Groupons, direct your husband to all the chores you want done.  Why don’t more pregnant women utilize this tactic?  Having a huge belly, achy back, extreme fatigue, etc., etc. make bending over to tie my shoes a completely cumbersome task – don’t get me started on mopping floors and scrubbing toilets.  Right ladies?  Now is the perfect opportunity to make your husband do all that burdensome work and he can’t object because you’re carrying his child!  What’s a little housework compared to growing a baby in your belly for 40 weeks?

3) Have your mom come stay with you for a week.  My mom happens to be staying with me right now, and it’s like having a live-in maid!  I haven’t done laundry, dishes, or cooked a meal since she’s been here.  She has also completely reorganized my kitchen and took over nursery-preparation duties, since I had been slacking on that front as well.  This allows me to remain comfortably in denial about having a baby in a few short weeks while in the back of my head knowing that everything is taken care of when the inevitable happens.

Although I still have those piles to sort through…

 

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Name the Grandparents

Posted on Oct 24, 2011 in Uncategorized

You all did such a good job with the baby name suggestions, that I’m hoping you will be as helpful with grandparent names. Here’s why: My dad recently announced he wants the baby to call him “The Boss” or perhaps simply, “Boss”.  While the baby won’t be talking anytime soon, we need to squash this idea STAT.  I can’t listen to my father refer to himself in the third person as “Boss” any longer. First of all, “The Boss” conjures up images of either Bruce Springsteen or a mobster, both of which are too cool to be associated with my dad. (No offense, Dad.)  Second of all, calling her grandfather “Boss” might create some confusing authority issues for my daughter.  It needs to be made clear early on that I am the one and only true boss in the family. So “The Boss” is out, even if my dad hasn’t accepted it yet.  We must find a suitable replacement, and unfortunately, “Grandpa” isn’t going to work either.  Sure, my dad went gray – excuse me, silver – in his early-30s, but other than that, he’s just not a “Grandpa”.  When I think of “Grandpa”, I think of a short, somewhat crotchety old man with hearing aids that are never turned on and who lets his grandchildren cheat at board games and secretly gives them candy.  (Yes, I just described my grandfather). My dad doesn’t need to turn off hearing aids to ignore me – he just tunes me out automatically.  Growing up he never let me win at anything, and would actually gloat when he beat me in games.  And he’s only shrunk a little, as far as I can tell.  See?  Not “Grandpa” material. As for my mom, “Grandma” doesn’t work either.  While thankfully she hasn’t claimed any dictatorial titles like my dad, she is at a loss at what to be called.  The fact that she will ask me the same question four times within 20 minutes does lend her an air of senility, and yes, she does favor orthopedic shoes, but generally she is too young...

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Italia, I miss you

Posted on Oct 19, 2011 in Travel Traumas, Uncategorized

I failed.  Yesterday my exhaustion reached levels of such epic proportions that I  simply didn’t have the physical capacity to drag myself to my laptop to type a post for this silly post a day challenge.  Had I tried, anything I wrote would have been completely incoherent anyway.  Forcing myself to post everyday has taken the fun out of this whole blogging thing, and as I mentioned in a previous post, I believe quality should trump quantity in this case.  So I admit defeat, but not without this slew of rationalization.  Onto blogging. I know I have been promising a post on my fall fashion wishlist, but A) I’m guessing most of you don’t really care what clothing items I’m lusting after and B) It’s flipping 80 degrees where I live and just looking at coats and capes and boots makes me break out into a sweat.  So fall fashion is going to have to wait. What’s on tap for today?  A healthy dose of nostalgia.  When Damon is gone, I get to catch up on movies he would never watch with me.  The other night, I watched Eat, Pray, Love.  The film was mediocre, but it made me long to return to Italy.  When I was a little girl, I wanted to visit three places: London, Paris, and Italy.  I have no idea where these desires came from, or why I designated specific cities in England and France, but left my Italy travels unspecified.  I like to think that at eight years old I had to foresight to realize that all of Italy is worthy of visiting. I had the good fortune to participate in an internship program in Florence the summer of 2005, followed by a study abroad program that fall.  While Florence is my fave, I love all of Italy, (almost) everything about Italy:  The people, the food, the art, the food, the language, the architecture, the food, the history, the food… you get the picture.  I returned after college graduation in 2007, but haven’t been back since.  And that makes me sad. Watching Julia Roberts...

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One Month To Go

Posted on Oct 17, 2011 in Uncategorized

Oct 17th.  That means one month till Baby is supposed to arrive. Shall we take bets on when she’ll actually show up? I’m guessing late.  Because that’s just my luck.  Mentally, I’m totally fine if Baby takes her time.  Physically, get her out of me! So, what do you think? Share...

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Rue La La Thinks I’m Dead: Part II

Posted on Oct 16, 2011 in Uncategorized

I recently posted that an impulse purchase of a pair of Botkier leather peep-toe ankle booties sent me into a downward shopping spiral.  It’s true.  That purchase opened the floodgates and released months of pent-up shopping energy!  I was doomed. Suddenly, no shopping site was off-limits.  A bracelet from Gilt Group?  Sure!  Hey, I had a credit so it cost me nothing!  Samsonite luggage from One Kings Lane?  Okay!  In all honestly, I have been searching for decent luggage for a long time.  True story.  And hello, it was significantly discounted, so no harm done.  Don’t even get me started on the Baby Gap Columbus Day Sale – this purchase driven by my recent layette freak-out.  (At least I never buy anything full price!) But it didn’t stop there; soon the shopping carried over from the web to the real world.  After receiving a Friends & Family 20% off card for Pottery Barn, I decided I needed some autumnal home décor .  After all, Damon and I are hosting Thanksgiving this year so our condo needs to be properly outfitted.  Right? Please note two things: 1) Damon is at sea so I am all by my lonesome.  This would probably not be occurring if my husband was around to keep me in check.  Except for the luggage.  Because really, we do need new luggage. 2) I am no psychologist, but I’m pretty sure I am doing anything to avoid addressing the nursery situation.  Nursery = Overwhelming Anxiety.  Shopping = Control.  Redecorating my living room with my new purchases and reorganizing my closet to accommodate new shoes, jewelry, etc. are fantastic distractions from the fact that in about a month I’m going to be responsible for keeping a little person alive. One thing I am not buying?  Clothes.  For obvious reasons.  In fact, this morning I received another email from one of my former favorite stores, requesting I check my spam filters to ensure I’m receiving their emails – see, I haven’t totally fallen off the wagon!  But whereas before I had completely resisted checking the latest fall fashions on...

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Crazy Lady: Update

Posted on Oct 15, 2011 in Uncategorized

I feel slightly bad about being so quick to judge the marathon mom, and have continued the conversation about her decision to run a marathon at 39 weeks pregnant with several people over the past week.   Here is what fellow runner, Sharon, told me: “I read this story too and asked a few of my doctor friends-their consensus was that since she was well conditioned/trained to run marathons before becoming pregnant that it was completely safe for her during pregnancy and even at 38 weeks […] Basically since her body was in marathon condition, none of her vital signs would fluctuate to unhealthy levels so baby would not suffer any harm.” Makes sense, although I still think it’s nuts and unnecessary to run a marathon at 38 weeks, even if not unhealthy. I then stumbled across this article from an old issue of Self, Running While Pregnant.  Now this I can get behind.  Written during her 7th month, this woman toned down her 5-mile routine to a 3-miler during pregnancy, and admittedly paced herself at more of a “shuffle” than a “run”.  I “ran” till around my 6&1/2 month, and by that point it was more walking interspersed with jogging.  Since my body was already conditioned for running, my doctor gave me the OK to keep running, even at that point and despite outcries from well-meaning friends.  However, around that time it just felt right for me to start walking.  So I have concluded that it’s best just to listen to your body. Perhaps next pregnancy I’ll be able to keep running up a little longer. Though I will never be fully convinced that a pregnant body feels A-OK while running 26.2 miles.  Call me stubborn. On an unrelated note, why do all pictures of pregnant women exercising involve the women wearing too-small shirts?  I swear athletic companies make shirts that cover a pregnant belly.  I own several of them.  Let’s work on that, photogs.  Thanks. Share...

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