The Only Workout Song You Will Ever Need

Posted on Feb 10, 2013 in Uncategorized

It’s February.  Which means your resolve to uphold your New Year’s Resolution is probably waning.  Actually it’s mid-February, so that resolve is probably completely gone.

If your resolution happened to involve working out a) please stop crowding my gym classes every January and b) it’s your lucky day, because I am here to re-motivate you!

A good playlist can do miracles for your workout.  Perhaps you’ve read about the motivational power of music or seen articles highlighting the best songs for getting your exercise on.  Last November, my friend Sarah posted her list of top 10 workout songs.  While I’m sure this list is excellent, I am not actually familiar with much of the music listed because at the time Sarah posted it, I was listening exclusively to the N Sync Christmas Pandora station.  But it got me thinking: What would my perfect playlist be?

Oh, poor, poor me.  I already knew the answer – I’ve known it for years!  It’s just that since Elisabeth came along my running routine has been inconsistent at best, so I had forgotten. For shame!  I’d probably be running monthly marathons by now had I remembered!  But I must not dwell on what could have been.  Instead, right here, right now, I’m going to share a secret with you. Brace yourself.  This is going to revolutionize your workout.

You don’t need an entire playlist to get you through a workout, you need only one song. 

What song, Diana?  What song?!

The only song you will ever need ever again* is:

Celine Dion’s, “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now”.

*Crickets*

Okay, you’re confused, I get it.  Celine Dion? For my workout?  Just trust me.  Go get your iPod or smartphone or whatever it is you listen to your music on these days and give Ms. Dion a listen.

But I don’t have Celine Dion in my music library.  She’s lame. 

LIAR!  Falling into You was a magical album.  I know you secretly love it.  This is now the second time I have declared my love for Celine on this blog, and if I can so publicly admit such a thing – twice! – you can definitely privately listen to this song in your home.  Go on now, get listening.

See?  Magical.

Okay, fine, it’s magical.  But how does this help me with my run?

This is a POWER ballad, people. The power of Celine’s voice will power you through your run.  Trust me.**  The song starts off a little slow, which you can warm-up to.  At 2:07, it starts picking up.  And by 2:33, Celine’s off and so are you.  (Yes, I’m listening to it right now and checking the times.  See how dedicated I am to your running success?)  Whenever I hear this song, I just want to find the nearest stage and belt out the lyrics.  And if you’re like me – human – you do, too.  But that would be embarrassing.  So instead, I take all that pent-up singing energy and channel it into my run.  Pounding the pavement, envisioning myself up on stage with Ms. Dion, thumping our chests with our fists because it’s just so emotional! – it is EPIC.  Do the same, and you will be empowered to tackle the tallest hill, sprint one more interval, endure one more mile.

Bonus: This song is 7 minutes and 37 seconds.  That is a helluva long song.  It’s practically a mile!  (Or if you’re fast, it’s over a mile! And if you don’t run a sub-8 minute mile now, Celine will get you there.)  Point is, put this baby on repeat and in just three repetitions you’ll have run a 5K without even feeling it.  And that’s just the beginning.  You will never get tired of “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now.”  You just can’t.  Ask my dad.  He once drove well over an hour with four 12-year-old girls singing this song at the top of their lungs on repeat, and managed not to tear out the CD player.  It’s like the more you listen to it, the more you love it.  So lace up your running shoes, put the song on, and you just might run forever.

You can thank me later.

*The only song you will ever need ever again for your workout. Not for life.  It’s kind of a dark song, actually, so I wouldn’t recommend it for your wedding or anything like that.  But your run, yes.

**Trust me because while you might think I’m joking, I’m not.  I do really listen to this song on repeat when I run.  Maybe not all the time, but enough. Every now and then I do mix in the Spice Girls, “If You Wanna Be My Lover.”  You should try that one, too.

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It’s All About Poop: That and Other Lessons I Learned My First Year (and Two Months) of Motherhood

Posted on Feb 2, 2013 in My Kid Stole My Cool

My baby is fourteen months.  That means I’m two months late publishing this post.  So without further ado, the most important lessons I learned during my first year (plus  two months) of motherhood, not ranked in order of importance.  Feel free to pass this along to expecting or new parents – this info right here is priceless.  1) Your conversations will mainly revolve around poop.  Deal with it.  While in Hawaii, my dad asked me what I had found most surprising about being a parent.  My response?  “How much I talk about poop.”  It’s gross, but it’s true.  When I was pregnant, I went out for coffee with a few other moms and the entire conversation was dominated by talk of poop and nursing.  How cliché!  I vowed I was not going to be one of those moms that could only converse about a baby’s bodily functions and breastfeeding.  Then I had the baby, and realized that all moms are those moms.  It is unavoidable.  Because that is what your life primarily revolves around, at least for the first six months or so.  Hubby comes home from work:  “Hey hon, the baby had four massive poops today!” Go to play group: “Hey ladies, how do you handled your child’s constipation?”  To the flight attendant on your cross-country flight: “I’m sorry, but I have to ignore the fasten seat-belt sign.  My daughter just pooped up her back.”  The babes poop.  All.  The.  Time.  And since a baby’s bowel movement is a major indicator of his or her health, it’s kind of important to pay attention to.  So no matter how uncomfortable you are talking the potty talk, get over it. 2) Celebrities aren’t lying when they say they lost their baby weight by breastfeeding.  I always assumed when I saw someone like Heidi Klum modeling lingerie like, three weeks after giving birth, and then credited her weight loss to breastfeeding that she was a) lying through her perfect white teeth to seem more relatable or something and b) had a personal trainer and chef to whip her back into shape mucho fast.  BUT SHE’ WASN’T...

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What Would Martha Do: The Birthday Blowout

Posted on Jan 24, 2013 in Pinterest Stole My Cool

What Would Martha Do: The Birthday Blowout 3

Elisabeth and I recently attended one of her little buddy’s first birthday party.  It was “The Very Hungry Caterpillar” themed and it was so freaking cute.  I have got to give this mom props.  She is moving in a matter of weeks.  She has no furniture but “stick furniture” – the stuff the base loans you once they have packed up and shipped out all your real stuff.  Besides being sans furniture (and most major kitchen appliances, I would assume), she was and is undoubtedly dealing with the major stress of organizing and executing an overseas military move.  Yet she pulled off a seriously awesome first birthday party for her little guy. Colorful lanterns hung from the ceiling to look like the little caterpillar!  The food served was all the food the very hungry caterpillar ate – strawberries, oranges, sausage, cheese, cupcakes!  I mean come on!  So cute!  So creative!  Even birthday boy Jonas had an adorable little onesie that corresponded with the theme.  I was admiring her handiwork when I realized, We are crazy.  The whole lot of us.* This mom is probably one of those women who pulls together cute and creative theme parties effortlessly.  I’ve seen some of her baking creations, so I assume she is talented in these sorts of things.  But while coordinating a move?  And without a Kitchenaid?  My goodness!  That is love for child right there. If it were me, and I were moving, I would also have thrown Elisabeth as rockin’ a party as possible.  Even though she wouldn’t remember it.  Even though it would probably cause me unhealthy levels of stress.  As it was, Elisabeth’s party fell just days after Damon returned home from deployment and on a holiday weekend.  What was that about unhealthy levels of stress?  Yet I’d be damned if she didn’t get a memorable first birthday party.  (Um, a second first birthday party.  She also had a party when we were visiting the states.  She is so the first child.)  I blame – as I often do on this blog – Pinterest.  Because Pinterest has placed...

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Cookie Hell. Or, That Time Girl Scouts Turned Me Into a Dealer

Posted on Jan 18, 2013 in Adulthood Stole My Cool

I do not do drugs.  I do not condone drugs.  I never experimented with drugs.  But maybe if I had, I’d be better prepared for dealing with Girl Scouts now.  Stay with me. While I don’t believe in doing drugs, I do believe in volunteering.  Last year I wrote about volunteering with Girls on the Run, a wonderful organization dedicated to making health and fitness fun for young girls.  While we don’t have GOTR on NAF Atsugi, we do have Girl Scouts, another organization committed to building girls of strong character.  Or something like that. As you may be interested to learn, I was once a Girl Scout.*  So when I learned that the Atsugi Girl Scouts were looking for volunteers, I thought, Why not?  I figured it would be a great way to get more involved more in our community and give back a little of my time to an organization that had given so much to me.** I was wrong.  Very, very wrong. Due to my schedule, I was unable to volunteer as a leader.  Instead I was asked to take on the role of Cookie Manager.  (Co-Cookie Manager is more accurate.  I have a saint of a partner, Kat, who is way more on top of this thing than I am, bless her soul.)  It wasn’t really what I had in mind, and truth be told, I didn’t really know what the job entailed.  Again I thought, Why not?  If that’s what they needed me to do, by all means I would manage me some cookies. What I failed to take into account is that people go bat-$&!% crazy for girl scout cookies.  Straight up psycho.  People want their cookies, and they want them now.  Let’s be real for a second – they aren’t even that good.***  But it’s as if we as Americans have some weird, nostalgic connection to these cookies that compel us to buy, buy, buy and sell, sell, sell.  And the fact that they are only offered -gasp!- once a year in -gasp again!- limited quantities strikes an urgency in us to get...

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Mele Kalikimaka

Posted on Jan 11, 2013 in Travel Traumas

Mele Kalikimaka 4

I want to be in Hawaii right now.  But who doesn’t, right? That’s where Damon, Elisabeth and I spent a wonderful but far-too-short week last month for our Christmas vacation. Growing up in Southern California, I always longed for a White Christmas.  Snow was such a novelty!  When I was young, we spent several holidays visiting my grandparents in Ohio.  We built snowmen!  We made snow angels!  We caught pneumonia!  Man I loved those Christmases. Eventually we transitioned to exclusively California Christmases.  No more snowmen.  No more snow angels.  Our California Christmas tradition?  A walk on the beach. A walk on the beach!?!  That’s, like, the ANTI-Christmas!  Despite our protestations, my parents dragged my brothers and me to the blasted beach year after year after year.  We (the brothers and I, not the parents) would grudgingly trudge through the sand complaining about the horrible burden placed upon us by living 10 minutes from the ocean.   I still love the idea of a white Christmas, though having now experienced several unpleasant winters as an adult (think: Snowpocalypse 2010), I am slightly less attached to the white, fluffy stuff.  And after a somewhat eventful last year (a new baby, travel that included 3 continents, 4 countries and countless states and cities, a Permanent Change of Station to Japan, a deployment, etc., etc.), nothing sounded better than a relaxing week by the beach. Even the monstrously long travel day (yes, day – over 24 hours thanks to delays) it took to get to Kauai didn’t damper my spirits.  Because I wasn’t traveling with the baby alone!  As soon as we had settled into our (inexcusably small for an international flight) seats on the airplane, Damon whipped out his iPad and headphones. “Excuse me, what are you doing?” I asked. “I am going to watch a movie,” he responded. “No, you’re not,” I replied and promptly plopped Elisabeth into his lap. That was the start of my responsibility-free week.   Well, not totally responsibility-free.  I still had to feed the kid and stuff, but it was the closest I’ve come to responsibility-free in...

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Happy End of the Holidays

Posted on Jan 3, 2013 in Travel Traumas

Happy End of the Holidays 0

Happy New Year! Now that that’s out of the way, can we all breathe a collective sigh of relief that the business and stress that naturally accompanies the holiday season is over?  Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the holidays, but now that I have a little person to contend with, I also love when they are over.  Here is my holiday recap, starting in mid-November, because that is really when craziness descended upon my household. Nov 12: Elisabeth and I return to Japan after a great visit to the States.  We deal with jet lag, inexplicable amounts of unpacking (somehow, I came home with more than I left with), and prepping for… Nov 17th: Damon’s Homecoming!  Woohoo!  Except… Nov 15-16: I come down with nasty stomach virus and turn into a worthless corpse laid up on my couch.  All the cleaning, baking, and other general Homecoming activitizing (yes, that is a made-up word) that I inevitably left for the day before Damon’s arrival does not get done.  That will teach me not to procrastinate!  (Eh, it probably won’t.) Nov 21: Elisabeth turns 1!  The realization that my baby is no longer a baby turns me into an emotional wreck.  But only for a moment because there is party planning to be done! Nov 22: Thanksgiving.  Our friends host the squadron for Thanksgiving dinner.  Being the control freak that I am, I get inordinately stressed out about this event.  And I’m not even the host.  Has everyone RSVP’d?  Who will bring what?  Are there enough chairs?  Will my food be edible!?  I should probably work on these control issues.  I should probably also not worry about my stuffing ruining Thanksgiving since there is enough food to feed a small army. Nov 24: The big birthday party! (Still to be written about in detail; it is imperative that I record how psycho I went over this event as a reminder of what not to do in the future.)  Following a major holiday with a major birthday party is not ideal.  The grocery shopping, the cooking, the planning for one of...

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