The Good Stuff

Posted on Mar 26, 2013 in Uncategorized

I stopped nursing Elisabeth last week.  And it couldn’t have happened at a better time.  Because shortly thereafter, I came down with (Elisabeth passed along to me) a nasty cold.  And for the first time since I was pregnant – the first time in TWO YEARS – I was able to take real meds.  When you’re pregnant or breastfeeding, your medicinal options are pretty much restricted to Tylenol.  And most of the time, Tylenol just doesn’t hack it.  Oh, there’s also Benedryl.  However if you like to be conscious during the day, Benedryl is not always a good choice.  Now, though – now my options for Over The Counter meds were endless!

Giddy with excitement, I hit up the drug store.  I peered up through watery eyes at the rows and rows of pills, sprays, and syrups.  I carefully inspected the labels between sneezing fits.  With so many possibilities, how would I choose?  Multi-symptom cold medicine?  Cold & Flu gel caps?  Drowsy or non-drowsy cough syrup?  I noticed a bright orange label affixed on many of the boxes: “DMX”.  What was this DMX?  I saw you could only buy two of these products at a time and that ID was required for purchase.  I still had no idea what it was, but clearly it was the good stuff.  I grabbed the Robitussin with the mysterious “DMX” label and a package of Dayquil and Nyquil capsuls for good measure.

Back at home I eagerly ripped open an individual Nyquil dosage.  Dang they make those little packets hard to open!  Had those tiny, perforated lines always been so hard to tear, or had my hands grown weak after two years of medicinal abstention?  I eventually pried open the package and swallowed the pills.  That night was glorious.  Instead of waking five, six times with a hacking cough, I only awoke two.  The wonders of modern medicine!

Early in that morning – 4AM or so – I needed another dose.  But it was too late to take another Nyquil.  Damon was gone* and I had a child who would be awake in a short time; I’d need to be semi-alert to take care of her.  I opted for the non-drowsy Robitussin.  The directions instructed me to take 2 teaspoons every four hours.  Two teaspoons?  That was all?  Had that always been the dosage?  It seemed so… scant.  Nevertheless I poured my two teaspoons and swallowed.  The thick syrup coursed down my throat.  Oh sweet relief!

I went back to the drug store the next day to pick up some Mucinex… just because I could.

It’s bedtime for me now.  But first, off to the medicine cabinet.  Goodnight!  May you breathe clearly tonight.

*Of course Damon was (and still is) gone.  I think it’s in the Military Wife Handbook that we are only allowed to get sick when our spouses are away.  Why this is, I don’t know.  But it’s cruel.

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(Re)Name My Blog

Posted on Mar 17, 2013 in Uncategorized

Hey Folks, This blog is about to undergo a major redesign.  To go along with the new look, I’m going to need a new name.  But here’s the thing: I’m no good with titles.  That’s why half of you readers probably don’t get Non Om Mom now.  I need your help. I’ve appealed to you before.  Perhaps you remember when I asked you to Name My Baby and Name the Grandparents.  I sure do!  You guys were awesome, offering up loads of wonderful suggestions.  So I’m appealing to you again.  (Re)Name my blog. You’re probably all, “Dude.  Diana.  Start naming your own s*** already!”  I get it.  I get your frustration.*  I do.  But really, this is not my thing.  I can’t condense all my brilliance into a witty, memorable, AND succinct title.  It’s too daunting a task.   So I repeat – I. Need. Your. Help. We’re going to make this fun.  We’re going to make this a contest.  This is how it’s going to go:  All you readers submit your suggestions for a new blog title.  If I choose your title**, you will receive an Amazon gift card.  BAM!  Who doesn’t love Amazon!?  Nobody! Okay, well, don’t get too excited yet.  It’s only going to be a $20 Amazon gift card.  I’m not made of money, people!  But do you know how much crap amazingly awesome stuff you can get for $2o on Amazon!?  So much amazingly awesome stuff!  Go on, get excited again!   A really easy contest to win $20 on Amazon!  Woohoo! Now that you’re appropriately psyched, put your thinking caps on.  Just this time, I’m going to request that you don’t leave your submission as a comment.  Please go to my Contact page and email me your suggestion.  Multiple entries are welcome!  And if your friends or family are smarter and funnier than you***, please feel free to pass this contest along so they can enter, too. I wasn’t going to offer any guidelines for the title – I’m curious to see what title you think reflects this blog without my influence.  However I will...

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The Christian Bale Scale

Posted on Mar 4, 2013 in My Kid Stole My Cool

The Christian Bale Scale 8

I’ve had a rough week.  Maybe its been two weeks.  My memory is a little fuzzy from fatigue, so I can’t remember exactly how long its been since the Night Stalker returned, just a long time.  You see, Elisabeth is teething and Demon Baby has returned, waking several times a night and slowly sucking the life out of me. I wake up every morning looking wrecked.  No amount of makeup in the world can help me.  It’s really quite depressing. I always thought I’d be that mom that everyone hates because she always looks put-together: cute outfit, coiffed hair, bright-eyed.  But no.  Sadly I’m the hater, not the hatee.  Some days I do try to look less zombie-like.  Really, I do.  If you see me on a regular basis, you may not believe me, but honestly – there are days I dab on the expensive de-puffing eye cream, apply blush to add color to my sallow skin, and swipe mascara over my lashes to perk up my droopy eyes. It’s all useless – especially the expensive eye cream – but I do it anyway.  Definitely not every day, though.  Not even most days.  Why waste that expensive eye cream? Maybe you can relate.  Maybe you also don’t want to squander your precious beauty products when it will hardly make a dent.  Maybe you wonder how to choose which days to put effort into your appearance, and which days to say, “To Hell with it all!” That’s where the Christian Bale Scale comes in.  I determine on a scale of 1-10 the likelihood that I will run into Christian Bale that day, and plan my put-togetherness accordingly.  For example, if I know I’m going to be staying on base all day doing errands and taking care of the kiddo and whatnot, that’s a zero; that day doesn’t even make it on the scale.  Why would a gorgeous, Oscar-winning Welsh actor be wandering around a small naval air base in Japan? He wouldn’t.  So on those days, I don’t bother.  The dark circles are out in all their glory, the greasy...

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I Think I’m Learning Japanese

Posted on Mar 1, 2013 in It's the Navy Life

I think I’m learning Japanese, I really think so.* Just kidding.  I thought I was learning Japanese, but this weekend provided me a harsh reality check. It only took me eight months of living in Japan to crack open my Rosetta Stone.  And it will probably take me double that time to actually comprehend anything I’m supposed to be learning.  I’m not going to try and explain here Rosetta Stone’s method.  Because I can’t.  I have absolutely no clue what or how it it is trying to teach me.  All I know is when I turn on my laptop, strange-sounding words emanate from my speakers, slides of very Anglo-looking people appear (this is the Japanese version, right?  Oh, wait!  They’re holding chopsticks!  Yup, we’re good to go!), and I’m supposed to click or type or chant or something.  It’s all very confusing. Nevertheless, after completing several lessons (and repeating them) over the past couple months, I felt confident that I had learned something.  I’ve known the basic phrases for a while: Hello (konnichiwa), goodbye (sayonara), thank you (arigato gozaimasu), excuse me (sumimasen), and I’m sorry (gomen nasai)**.  I’ve gotten by with these phrases just fine, but I was ready to move on.  As it turns out, my parents were visiting and we were spending a few days in Tokyo.  My dad doesn’t believe in public transportation, so as we were hailing a cab I figured it would be the perfect opportunity to exercise my new language skills. “Konnichiwa!” I exclaimed as I climbed into a cab.  And then I froze.  What do I say next?  WHAT DO I SAY!?  All of a sudden I realized that while knowing how to say things like, “The girl eats/is eating rice,” makes me sound really smart to anyone who knows less Japanese than I do, it holds zero practicality.  Zero.  What I really need to know how to say is, “We’d like to go to the East Gardens of the Imperial Palace, please.”  Why doesn’t Rosetta Stone teach me that? Humbled and ashamed, I fumbled through my guidebook and pointed to our...

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When Staying At Home Sucks

Posted on Feb 13, 2013 in My Kid Stole My Cool

I am so, so grateful that I can stay at home with Elisabeth.  I know I am very blessed to have that as an option, and I try not to take that for granted.  And I love, love, love my daughter more than anything.  She is smart and funny and sweet and entertaining and our time together is priceless. I just needed to put that all out should Elisabeth ever find this blog post and think I think otherwise. Because some days being a stay-at-home mom sucks. I have no desire to get in the working mom v. stay-at-home mom debate.  Who cares?  For those of us fortunate to have the choice, if working fulfills you, that probably means you’ll be a happy, healthy role model for your children, and so that’s probably what is best for your family.  If staying at home fulfills you, that probably means you’ll be a happy, healthy role model for your children, and so that’s probably what is best for your family.  But I’m willing to bet there are some days when working moms think, “Aghhhhh I hate my job and just want to be at home with my kids!”  Because I know for a fact that there are some days when stay-at-home moms think, “Aghhhhh I need to get out of my house and away from my kid(s)!” Um, maybe I shouldn’t speak for all stay-at-home moms.  But if I’m the only one that feels that way sometimes, I’m going to be pretty embarrassed about admitting it on the blogosphere.  But seriously, some days are tedious and tiresome and just plain boring.  There, I said it. Anyway.  Those days are rare.  Very rare.  I just happened to have one yesterday.  And now I need to blog about it because I feel partly guilty about harboring such feelings and partly in need of a good vent. I went to bed Monday night with a raging headache.  I woke up on Tuesday morning – in the 5:00 hour – with a raging headache.  Knowing before 6:00AM that your day is probably going to suck,...

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The Only Workout Song You Will Ever Need

Posted on Feb 10, 2013 in Uncategorized

It’s February.  Which means your resolve to uphold your New Year’s Resolution is probably waning.  Actually it’s mid-February, so that resolve is probably completely gone. If your resolution happened to involve working out a) please stop crowding my gym classes every January and b) it’s your lucky day, because I am here to re-motivate you! A good playlist can do miracles for your workout.  Perhaps you’ve read about the motivational power of music or seen articles highlighting the best songs for getting your exercise on.  Last November, my friend Sarah posted her list of top 10 workout songs.  While I’m sure this list is excellent, I am not actually familiar with much of the music listed because at the time Sarah posted it, I was listening exclusively to the N Sync Christmas Pandora station.  But it got me thinking: What would my perfect playlist be? Oh, poor, poor me.  I already knew the answer – I’ve known it for years!  It’s just that since Elisabeth came along my running routine has been inconsistent at best, so I had forgotten. For shame!  I’d probably be running monthly marathons by now had I remembered!  But I must not dwell on what could have been.  Instead, right here, right now, I’m going to share a secret with you. Brace yourself.  This is going to revolutionize your workout. You don’t need an entire playlist to get you through a workout, you need only one song.  What song, Diana?  What song?! The only song you will ever need ever again* is: Celine Dion’s, “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now”. *Crickets* Okay, you’re confused, I get it.  Celine Dion? For my workout?  Just trust me.  Go get your iPod or smartphone or whatever it is you listen to your music on these days and give Ms. Dion a listen. But I don’t have Celine Dion in my music library.  She’s lame.  LIAR!  Falling into You was a magical album.  I know you secretly love it.  This is now the second time I have declared my love for Celine on this blog, and if I...

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