Adulthood Stole My Cool

Why I Love Not Being Pregnant

Posted on Jan 2, 2012 in Adulthood Stole My Cool, Pregnancy Stole My Cool

6 weeks ago I went through this.  6 weeks ago little Elisabeth Lucy came into the world.  6 weeks ago my pregnancy was OVER!

6 weeks is a not insignificant amount of time.  Yet I still find myself, on a fairly regular basis, thinking, “Wow.  I love not being pregnant.”  When I open the medicine cabinet and see the Tums bottle gathering dust, I think it.  When I slip on a pair of pants without an elastic band, I think it.  When I climb a flight of stairs without breaking into a sweat, I think it.

So in that spirit, here is my list of Top 10 Reasons I Love Not Being Pregnant:

10) I can sleep on my back and my stomach.  I don’t actually sleep on either, but I like that I have the option.

9) For the first time since moving into our new condo, I fit comfortably into my stall shower.

8) As suddenly as it appeared, my heartburn disappeared.  Miraculous!

7) I am no longer resigned to the elliptical at the gym.  I see running in my future.  And kickboxing.  And power yoga.  And if I’m feeling saucy, maybe even… Zumba!

6) My legs no longer resemble Bigfoot’s.  I don’t believe No Shave November was intended for women, but shaving my legs became an impractical and somewhat dangerous undertaking as pregnancy wore on.  As my belly grew, so did my leg hair.  TMI?  Sorry.

5) I am saving loads of money not having to buy toilet paper every other day.  Not peeing every 45 minutes has major monetary advantages.

4) I can wear my pretty, fun shoes again.  OK, I still wore them while pregnant, but it hurt.  Swollen feet + strappy sandals and high heels don’t mix.

3) Wine.

2) I have not once gotten stuck in the garage between the car and the trash cans.  Yes, that happened.

1) (Drumroll please) I get to cuddle and play with and love on the cutest little baby girl*.  (Awwwwww).  It’s INFINITELY better than have her play soccer in my stomach every time I try to sleep.

These only scratch the surface, but i have a few friends that are early in their pregnancies and I don’t want to totally freak them out.  But perhaps they will find solace in the fact that others (me) once shared in their suffering.  Ladies, feel free to add to this list!

*In case you’re wondering why I haven’t posted any pictures of this cutest little baby girl on this blog, I was advised against it.  I know, I know.  You’re thinking you stuck with my blogs for months waiting for the payoff in cute baby pictures, and I’m not delivering!  Boooooo.  I deeply apologize; you really are missing out on some serious adorableness.  But if you saw some of the search terms people use that (inexplicably) bring them to my blog, you’d understand.  There are a lot of creepy people out here on the interwebs that I don’t feel need to see my sweet, innocent child.  And besides, I figure most of my readers are (a) friends with me on Facebook, where I already force massive numbers of baby pictures upon them (b) friends with my mom, in which case they are almost certainly already sick of all things Elisabeth or (c) a complete stranger who just happens to find me at least mildly entertaining, in which case, thanks for reading!  For those that fall in the (c) camp, just imagine the cutest baby ever with big blue eyes, dark hair, and cheeks that my father has suggested make her resemble Winston Churchill.  But a really, really cute Winston Churchill.

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